What if You Don’t Need to be Healed?

Hear me out.
I’ve been toying with something new.

I’ve been a “healer” for a long time now and that word can get pretty confusing.
I’ve spent a lot of years of my youth going to western doctors to “heal” me and then most of my young adult to adult years going to more esoteric, eastern or energy healers to “heal” me. I’m one myself.

I’m starting to see that while these things can be helpful, my mind is pretty sly. I teach meditation.
I was sitting in class last night teaching. There are many quiet moments in class when I’m not speaking and sometimes because my mind is usually quiet too, I’ll have deep insights.

Last night I heard the scariest, potentially truest thing that I’ve heard in a while.
“Jamie, you are caught up in trying to ‘fix yourself’ still. To ‘heal yourself’. That is actually made of thought energy that can pass.”

So, there is this thought that comes through your mind, from a sublet and sly place of fear that says, you need to get to the next layer, the next thing, you have to keep going “until you heal.”
And then you’ll be ok.

But what does that do to me? It puts being ok just out of reach and I’m always looking for it. And thats a never ending cycle.

I’ve studied under a school of thought that is adamant about the truth that we are ok by nature. At our core is “okness”, wellbeing. It’s like the sky and these thoughts that pass by are like the weather and when we take the weather seriously, we get a little caught up and suffer.

So I’m getting suspicious now. I’m not 100% certain as my mind has been doing this for quite some time.
But I’m curious now. This thought that I have to keep fixing or healing until I’m ok takes my power away.
What if I’m ok now? What if I’m a bright spirit with all my light fully intact, with all the ideas I need, resilience and wellbeing right now? What if you are too?

And we just got duped by the fearful “fix it, heal me” thought?

It came into my awareness hidden. I believed it so my reality was created around it.
I met others who believe life was like this and then found agreement and proof all around me so I was kind of in the Bermuda triangle sucked in...

...Until one day my mind got quiet and I heard what I can’t unhear now.
To my mind, that seems wildly scary.

“What? I could potentially let go and when I feel afraid and like I need to get to work healing, I could just let that thought pass and see whats under it? And if I feel the need to take an action, I can do it from that super calm place but otherwise I’m good?”

I hear from my teacher who has been at this longer than me that there is very little to do to be at peace than we think.
By default we are plugged in. We are good. We are at peace. And then we are innocently taken away from time to time, swept up in the illusion of thought.

I remember a teacher of mine saying to me one day, wherever you are certain you don’t need to look, look there.
Like I was certain that healer jamie needed to heal. Of course.

And the mind is funny. It said slyly, “She’d never look there, so let’s keep playing that one out.” But I believe in a good universe that has my back. So it can’t hide for long.
So, I’m going to experiment and I’m writing this today to see if you want to join me.

When you have a compulsion to keep reading, self healing, changing, chanting, rewiring, see if you can ease up. What if you didn’t need to do that in the first place? What if it was just a passing thought you took seriously?
What if we have created a whole industry based on an innocent fear of needing to heal? Now I know your brain may take this and try to distort it. Me too.

But if you at all feel a resonance with this, know I’m right here with you experimenting too. Let me know how it goes for you.
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Maybe there was never anything to “heal.”
Maybe there is just a remembering who you are and letting the rest come and go and pass. Taking gentle cover when the rain comes and enjoying the sun.