“Those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who couldn’t hear the music.” Frederich Nietzsche
Sometimes when I teach about the powerful mysteries of the Divine and what’s possible for us as humans on earth, I innocently get in my own way.
I know that when we just speak from love those who are open to hearing it will. No convincing required.
But for one who gets to see healing, miracles and magic on the weekly, sometimes I want to shout from the mountain topics. Everyone…over here…listen up…magic is real. You can heal. You can shift. You can unstick. You can feel these awesome things inside of you that aren’t contingent upon circumstance. It might take time and learning curves, but you can!
It’s true. It sounds weird and far out there when we hear it because when we are young we are taught that things out there make us feel a certain way. And they do sometimes! We aren’t taught that yes, sometimes things can influence us, but we are powerful. We are God. We aren’t victims to out there. We are spirit. We are feelings like peace and safety and love and kindness and it can just dawn us in the most unexpected of places. And when we look within and find it, we can transcend and shift energies outside of us. We become this quote. “Don’t let others pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.”
I see this more and more in my work.
You’ve gotta just open your mind and choose to look for it. (The rest follows suit.)
Even if you are angry. Even if you are in despair, you just intend with resolve, “Ok universe, I want to see that peace lives in me, love lives in me, healing is possible.”
What do you want?
I’ll sit with you right now as you stop reading for a moment.
Pray. Intend. Let your heart dance. I’m giving you permission. The little one inside of you knows exactly how to dream like this.
Put it out there.
“Hi God/Quantum Field/Source, It’s me_____. This is what I want ________. Like what I deeply want that I don’t think is possible. (Like so much love or passion or miracles or abundance. Ask for the thing you’ve alway longed for. It’s just you and me and I believe in miracles so you’re safe here. I’ll wait a moment.)
How’d that feel you powerful soul? You are a magical creator. You ask. Then the healing comes. (But don’t time it.) The next bread crumb. Follow the deeper feelings back to your inner spiritual home.
I do this too. I asked for what I want when I’m lost and in doubt, I pray. To an all knowing benevolent force that creates.
And that what happens which is what I wish for you too is that while I’m going about my day I’ll get a little space from my thinking. Where one day it looked real to me and then the next day I can start to magically glimpse it. Inside of my head I’m not collapsed in on it. I have space from it. Like I can see it through a window. This is the start of healing.
Today I was with a client and she said that she was afraid she would be perceived as a joke if she shined in her soul work and I had this little voice inside of me that said, “Oh my I have that too.” There came the space. And I saw that useless thought and I also heard myself talking to her but I was also talking to me at the same time. It’s what I needed to hear too.
My intuitive guidance to her was that I told her to let people think she’s a joke. Then there is no resistance to it. And also to let herself feel the pain of thinking she was a joke. Because when we sit with out feelings, we say hello to them, they move. They are energy with a story and they want to move. They don’t want to hurt you. So we welcome, we say hello, we allow, they move. Then there is space. Space for these insights to rise, space for us to see our thinking like I did.
So today I prayed and I got my answer fast. There was space between me and my thinking and I also got the answer. Weirdly the answer came out of my own mouth and guess what happened. The stuff I want to shout at the top of my lungs. My whole day shifted because I had an inner shift. I saw yet again, I’m not my thinking. I got space, it moved. I didn’t identity with it anymore.
Here’s the magic:
That morning I woke up with my cycle. I was tired with cramps. I didn’t want to do much.
After I received space from thinking, the energy moved and I had the divine answer I needed this natural love and happiness rose to the surface. I was me. Inside of me and you waiting. That’s there always. The energy on top just needs to move. This can happen in many ways but this was the shape it took today. Just a natural healing.
Me deeply open, wanting it, desiring it, learning to feel to move energy and creating space for the healing to happen and aware of what was going on because I've been learning about this natural process for years.
After this occurred I went from tired and cramps to this…
I was silly, making jokes, I could see my partner enjoying my lightness of being. We were laughing. I wanted to make bread. I was inspirited, I got more energy, my craps settled.
One might call this a miracle.
These miracles are everyday ordinary made for everyone occurrences. We grew up in some sort of innocent pessimistic reality. Yea right, that stuff is for kids….
Most of us just fall victim to our reality. We don’t realize we can heal. We don’t realize our inner Divinity can help us, lift us up out of the stuck parts of our mind. This doesn’t mean we won’t still feel and be human, we just won’t continue to suffer. We will get our spirit back. We intend it, then follow the deeper nudges.
So it’s true. It’s real. Energy can move when we look at it, we love it.
New thoughts can enter our minds.
Love can swoop in and do the damn thing when we ask for it to. But we can’t time it. It happens in its own Divine time.
We have this ability to have space from our thinking and see it. When we know that that is a thing that exists we don’t have to search for it. We just happen upon it. And instead of being this random thing that happened because some outside thing made us feel better, we realize what’s actually happening. An inner returning home our deeper, true nature beyond our programmed brain.
Over time we get really clued into the language of the soul. We learn it. Study it. Become in awe of it. I know my humanity but I’ve also gotten really intimate with my Divinity. I hope you find the gift of deeply understanding these two worlds too. It change everything.
I now know what insights feel like, the space feels like, awareness feels like, shifting from within regardless of what the outside looks like and having a massive shift in the energy and trajectory of my day feels like just because I had a healing inside. I mean…cool.
You are a god damn magician.
Im sorry no one told you in school.
But welcome to Ms. Wozny’s class where we begin to remember who we really are beyond what we were told.
This can seem confusing at first because we just haven’t learned it.
But when we do learn, our brain learns to find proof of this new way and over time the miracles roll in.
I love to sit with others in my coaching, my courses, trainings and mediations as they wake up to these universal truths through which they can align in order to get the most out of their purpose on this planet. I’m here if you want to dive deeper with me. I know support is everything.
And my friends, you deserve to live a life of purpose, joy and passion no matter where you came from, who you are or where you are going.
We all do.
Time and time again I come back to the same thing. For years I've wanted to fix. I want to feel differently or have differently than I do. And while that can be a wonderful thing, one needs to meet one exactly where they are in non resistance to the energy they are feeling now. Pure acceptance. Of your experience. Your humanity. What we resists persists.
So, what this looks like for me and for you?
I lay down on my bed. I put my hand on my heart and I ask how I'm feeling. As icky and uncomfortable as it is I offer up love and acceptance. Not literally but I just say hi fear, hi helplessness, hi sick. Hello in there. So we aren't looking away, we are looking toward. Loving. Could I just be with this without needing to change it? I'll ask. This lets the ice melt. This lets the energy move. This creates space for all the feelings we want. If we don't welcome some, we can't welcome others.
I give this little analogy of a house where all the feelings live. Joy and sorrow and pain and anger and happiness and pleasure. But if you want joy you have to go into the house. But anger lives there too. Would you rather hang out on the lawn numb your whole life or would you rather let yourself start to feel the gift of it all?
To me this is a practice.
To learn to move toward and not away.
That's where the space is created for the deeper feelings that make life worth living that you want. It can seem scary to go in but those that have gone before say there's good stuff there for you. I can attest to that. And go slow. Feel 1% out of 100%. Feel just this second of it. You don't need to go back into the past, just welcoming the energy you feel now with no story. Let it be felt, let it move, let it be purified by the light of your being. And then share with me what you find on the other side.
If you want to join me to dive deep into topics like this all about healing and expansion, check out this link with lots of free meditations, podcasts, online courses, and information about how to work with me privately here!
I didn’t know it was here.
I always thought it was there.
I thought I needed to do something to get it.
So does everyone.
It’s a big cosmic joke.
Like a hand reaching out in one of those action movies for the other hand to save its life, desperate to take hold.
Dying over here without air…
But then the whispers of Truth stir in you and say,
It's not in the struggle.
It's not in the reaching.
It’s not in doing.
And your confusion and doubt and cynicism set in.
Your fear of believing because others don’t and will think you are crazy.
As Nietzsche said, “Those who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music.”
So where’s the access point to the Love?
Inside of you. Waiting patiently. Wide eyed, blinking, wondering why you are making it so difficult.
It’s in the melting into she screams.
The letting go he hints.
The softening she sings.
And the being he patiently reminds.
And the mind will have a field day with that one.
But what you want is not of the mind.
Please hear me.
Please trust me.
It's not in your brain.
You don’t analyze or understand it.
You know it.
You sense it.
You feel Love.
Tears well up in your eyes because of it.
It's a feeling inside of you.
You are lovable because you are born.
The baby, the dog, the flower deserves love.
You are the same.
God's love is unconditional.
Meaning, without condition.
Read that again.
Meaning with imperfections and sloppy humanity.
Meaning no conditions.
Meaning as you are.
Lovable. As. You. Are.
You have received moments of good and grace your whole life.
You have had secret moments of Divinity and moments of warmth inside.
You are still human and all over the place and wild and you've still got it.
So you must deserve it.
Or you wouldn’t have gotten it.
So you must be lovable.
No matter what your brain tells you, because it's full of stories, not the truth of who your soul is.
You must deserve love.
My dear friend, drop your mind that wants to argue and lean into the truth of what you read.
Let go of the struggle, let go of the suffering,
Let the beauty of the whole planet bubble up inside of you and know that you are already home.
I know life can be tough but I also know life can be filled with so much healing, hope and love. I can't share enough to power of prayer in my life. ⭐️
If I'm ever stuck, I pray. Help me. Show me. Heal this. Send me my path. And the answers show up in miraculous ways. The other day I was fearing rejection and my dad called and we proceeded to have a deep conversation all about Accepting others rejection, respecting it and not avoiding it. 🙃
I was like, wow this is it. My answer.
We think we are alone, there is no help, there is no answer. But that is just not the truth.🥰
After our call, I listened deeply to the subtle pulls of my spirit beyond my mind and "I heard", google Michael Neill and Rejection. So I do and I see a video about him saying that rejection is an unavoidable part of life. You will be rejected if you live on earth.🤢😳💪
Wow. What we resist persists. I can welcome this knowing I'll be ok and the worst thing that can happen to me is a feeling that is temporary and not who I am, just an energy moving through. 🌈
We are always so magically and lovingly guided. Surrender your pain, ask for guidance then follow the little hunches back home. Works like a charm every time. I hope this helps you. If you haven't yet listened to my most recent podcast episode with Den Talks I share a free meditation all about this at the end. 🙏💙
To the child within you
The world needs you
The world needs that heart
That unwavering belief that you aren’t meant to suffer
That laughing is ok
That following joy should be the normal
The world needs that spirt that fights like a flower through sidewalk cracks to come home to itself
Because it knows in its most disgusting hour that there is peace under there
There is healing
There is hope
There is light
You just know it
You don’t know how you know it
And at first, in the beginning of your journey you are shaking
And you are scared
And you are sick
But you keep going
And have faith
Through your anger you have faith
Through the inability to catch your breath and believe you have faith
And one day you wake up
You see yourself
And you feel yourself
And you grow wings
And you become brave
You become really really really brave
And you see yourself doing things you never imagined
And you notice your spirit beyond your conditioning
And you acknowledge her
You acknowledge him
You acknowledge it
From across the room with a wink at first
Then a handshake
Then a hug
And then a merging of sorts
Then just a being
From desperately longing
And he shines like a torch
And there is this roar inside
This fierce feeling of I don’t care what you think
I work for the light now
And I’m here to wake you up
Not by trying hard or controlling
But by sharing and reminding
By pointing and showing
The world needs you
The world is craving you
The world is waiting for your breath of fresh air
There is no fear
You are safe here within yourself
You have a tribe
You are different for a reason
You aren’t meant to fit in
You are gifted
And just so filled with light
And it’s your time to invite the differences
To fearlessly allow yourself to be alone in the light for a while before they catch on
And then as you do you become a permission giver
And thank God you stood your ground in the light
And waited for them to join you.
You saved their lives.
So as my momma says,
“Go forth my child.”
Hidden beyond the river of glass that pours from her eyes
And the debris of ashes swept daily from her heart
And the poisonous vines entangled in her mind
Lies the brave woman
The fierce woman
The wild woman
The joyful woman
The Uninhibited woman
The free woman
The powerful woman
In her all too familiar lonely world there is the faintest smile of knowing
That amidst the insanity and the pain and the fear and the grotesque
That her job is to rise
Then stand raw and open in front of you and share the truth until you remember
Until you know
Until you rise
Until you shake and shake and shake off the weight and the dense and the chains until you drop from exhaustion
When it is finished
When the body has finally calmed
There she is
There they all are
I'm learning more about humanity and divinity as always. This week I realized that the more we "try" to get back home to our spiritual nature; our peace and love and warm resting place within, the farther it takes us from it. Weird huh?
Why is that? Because it seems to be default. It seems to be one of those beautiful, mysterious things that dawns on you when you aren't looking for it. That's how it works. I had a teacher point out this week when talking about finding internal wellbeing. She said, it can't be found.
What?! It can't be found? Why are we looking then? We are causing ourselves more stress and thinking there is something wrong with us when we don't feel it and working even harder to get it and maybe just maybe it will be there if I work a littler harder and KEEP GOING and ahhhhhh by this time my eyes are blood shot.
And holy shit, I'm tired and don't want to do this anymore.
And she says, It can't be found. Now look, that doesn't mean to doesn't exist. IT INFINITELY EXISTS! But it can't be found by our brain.
Our brain can't touch the space of our spirit, our wellbeing. That part we feel into. We fall into. (The Gap knew this well before us, go Gap) We get glimpses of. It dawns on us.
So as a recovering self help, healing junkie, I know sometimes we have to exhaust all of our options and then one day we go, yeah I don't think this thing can be found and when I'm happy I'm not trying to be happy. I just am. There is no reason. And it's normal to ebb and flow with the whole gamut of experience.
So it seems to me we allow what energy/thoughts/feelings are moving through us to move as gracefully as possible. Knowing they aren't "mine" or "personal". Because they come in your "own flavor" of thought, you might get zoomed in on it from time to time but the more we can let them be, let them be experienced and move, they settle. Always. We can't time it. Or put our ideas onto it. It comes. It goes. And when when it goes....our wellbeing dawns on us. Love dawns on us.
I think what happens is that we love that feeling so much we chase after it. But we all know how well that one goes. That's like being in a needy relationship and chasing the shit out of our partner and after a while they are like chill dude, that's not sexy, I'm feeling smothered. Let me love you how I want ot love you. Give me room to breathe. And then they are more free to offer their heart.
So under all the thinking we experience, there is a constant stream of sunshine.
UNCONDITIONAL. No conditions. For everyone regardless of circumstance. What a gift. And the more we can settle into the flow of life, loose grip, no chase, she peaks her head out more of the time. We give her space to breathe and love us.
It's like this beautiful, mysterious, perfect, I'll never figure this out dance. We get to enjoy the beauty when it's there. And knowing we can never loose it makes it a bit easier when the clouds are out.
Just relax into it a little. She'll return. She always does.
The other day I heard there is no one way we need to feel about the outside world in any given moment. We can feel any way about any thing.
Because the outside world isn't contingent upon our internal experience. Our internal experience varies and ebbs and flows. So there is no "one way to feel". No appropriate or acceptable way. There is no constant when it comes to feelings and correlations we make about them.
We say, "this thing makes me feel this way." But... If you look you'll see the very obvious but sometimes hard to see truth in this. We think, we feel, it all happens inside us. We look out there and say, "life is making me feel like this". Yet you are. It's in you. So you can totally be angry or scared and you can totally be happy or at peace too no matter what outside life brings.
Holy shit that's freeing.
It's ok to laugh or be peaceful or happy and all the other feelings too in the middle of this.
We ran into neighbors the other day walking the dog and they were all bummed and others were bummed we walked past too. And thats ok. But if we aren't aware, we blend into the bummed, even if we aren't bummed, to fit in.
To join the bummed club where we've always dreamed of being a shining star.
In that moment I didn't feel bummed. I felt good and I allowed myself when asked to not have to make myself stay small and say, "ah yeah i'm bummed too."
But no, I'm good. So I said I'm good, even though I was different. Me being good doesn't change others feeling bad. Or warrant unnecessary guilt. If anything, it uplifts the others temporarily feeling bad and gives them hope.
We need hope.
So stay true to where you are, who you are. Welcome the poo feelings and welcome the beauty feelings and let them out to shine.
Hear me out.
I’ve been toying with something new.
I’ve been a “healer” for a long time now and that word can get pretty confusing.
I’ve spent a lot of years of my youth going to western doctors to “heal” me and then most of my young adult to adult years going to more esoteric, eastern or energy healers to “heal” me. I’m one myself.
I’m starting to see that while these things can be helpful, my mind is pretty sly. I teach meditation.
I was sitting in class last night teaching. There are many quiet moments in class when I’m not speaking and sometimes because my mind is usually quiet too, I’ll have deep insights.
Last night I heard the scariest, potentially truest thing that I’ve heard in a while.
“Jamie, you are caught up in trying to ‘fix yourself’ still. To ‘heal yourself’. That is actually made of thought energy that can pass.”
So, there is this thought that comes through your mind, from a sublet and sly place of fear that says, you need to get to the next layer, the next thing, you have to keep going “until you heal.”
And then you’ll be ok.
But what does that do to me? It puts being ok just out of reach and I’m always looking for it. And thats a never ending cycle.
I’ve studied under a school of thought that is adamant about the truth that we are ok by nature. At our core is “okness”, wellbeing. It’s like the sky and these thoughts that pass by are like the weather and when we take the weather seriously, we get a little caught up and suffer.
So I’m getting suspicious now. I’m not 100% certain as my mind has been doing this for quite some time.
But I’m curious now. This thought that I have to keep fixing or healing until I’m ok takes my power away.
What if I’m ok now? What if I’m a bright spirit with all my light fully intact, with all the ideas I need, resilience and wellbeing right now? What if you are too?
And we just got duped by the fearful “fix it, heal me” thought?
It came into my awareness hidden. I believed it so my reality was created around it.
I met others who believe life was like this and then found agreement and proof all around me so I was kind of in the Bermuda triangle sucked in...
...Until one day my mind got quiet and I heard what I can’t unhear now.
To my mind, that seems wildly scary.
“What? I could potentially let go and when I feel afraid and like I need to get to work healing, I could just let that thought pass and see whats under it? And if I feel the need to take an action, I can do it from that super calm place but otherwise I’m good?”
I hear from my teacher who has been at this longer than me that there is very little to do to be at peace than we think.
By default we are plugged in. We are good. We are at peace. And then we are innocently taken away from time to time, swept up in the illusion of thought.
I remember a teacher of mine saying to me one day, wherever you are certain you don’t need to look, look there.
Like I was certain that healer jamie needed to heal. Of course.
And the mind is funny. It said slyly, “She’d never look there, so let’s keep playing that one out.” But I believe in a good universe that has my back. So it can’t hide for long.
So, I’m going to experiment and I’m writing this today to see if you want to join me.
When you have a compulsion to keep reading, self healing, changing, chanting, rewiring, see if you can ease up. What if you didn’t need to do that in the first place? What if it was just a passing thought you took seriously?
What if we have created a whole industry based on an innocent fear of needing to heal? Now I know your brain may take this and try to distort it. Me too.
But if you at all feel a resonance with this, know I’m right here with you experimenting too. Let me know how it goes for you.
Maybe there was never anything to “heal.”
Maybe there is just a remembering who you are and letting the rest come and go and pass. Taking gentle cover when the rain comes and enjoying the sun.
“You are already that which you seek.”~Ramana Maharshi
The old, familiar tape in my head started playing again. On repeat. Loudly. Like when you can’t get that song out of your mind and you ask your friend to sing something else in the hope that that damn jingle can be laid to rest.
It’s pesky and all too familiar but doesn’t cause too much harm. Or does it? Maybe not the song. But perhaps the belief in the tape of the mind does.
I bet my tape is similar to yours. I’ll share mine. Then let’s compare notes.
“I wish he would put his arm around me more or play with my hair and touch my face like they do in all those Reece Witherspoon, Julia Roberts and Kate Hudson movies. I wish he would walk back into this room the second I wake up with my coffee just like I like it. I wish he would have already showered today so that we could have sex as the moment arises.” I wish. I wish. I wish.
If you can relate, read on.
This “I wish thinking” is just as familiar as the jingle stuck in your head. It could sneak by like no big deal. Unnoticed. Harmless. Like that extra cup of coffee you knew you shouldn’t have had.
Here’s the thing I’m so excited to share with you.
The “I wish thinking” is not actually true.
The content of our thinking that is.
And I’m still kind of amazed at the fact that I wake up to the illusion of my thinking every day. And the more I hear about others waking up to the Illusion of their thinking too on the daily, the more it helps me “see” mine.
First, here’s some really important background knowledge
about how the mind works.
We are fish in water to our thinking. Fish say, “What’s water?” and we say, “What’s thinking?”
As humans we have the creative gift of Thought. It’s how we have experience. Period.
But instead of seeing Thought as subjective experience, we innocently see it as Truth. We grow up and we think, “Wow, these things in my head are all real and true.” Then we call that our “reality”. We pick certain ones that float into our head as “right” and others as “wrong.” Then we see proof of our wrong and right “beliefs” everywhere. This creates our version of “life”.
But is this the only way? Is this truth?
I feel so lucky to have caught on to the fact that it’s not.
Is a peaceful life beyond our beliefs available to us?
The way I see, it is.
Let’s go into more detail.
We have a thought and we feel our thought as an emotion. They are one and the same. That creates our experience of life.
Life is constantly coming to us from the inside out. Not the outside in.
Thought is infinite, creative potential. In any moment we have the ability to have an infinite amount of possible thoughts float through our heads. And they do! But if we have certain beliefs and also think that the outside world is making us feel a certain way (i.e. “My boyfriend’s behavior is disappointing me.”) then we can be innocently and temporarily “stuck” in our current thought reality.
But you can “unstick” at any time.
The key to freedom is not in trying to change other people, circumstances or outside life things. It’s in always looking within our own Mind for fresh, new thought about the outside thing you feel “stuck” about.
I envision this like a record that is spinning and playing a beautiful melody and the needle happens to get stuck momentarily and this weird sound comes out and repeats itself. Until someone comes along and lifts up the needle and puts it back down and the song continues to play.
There’s still a beautiful song wanting to be played. And we get “stuck” on a note and think that’s all there is for us. That one awkward note.
There’s. A. Whole. Song.
A whole album. A whole bunch of albums. A whole music industry. Musicians and instruments and singers and producers and well you get the idea!
And we think we’re the stuck note.
Until one day we wake up and realize that even though we may be fish in water, we’re not the water.
Even though we are thinking humans, we’re not our thoughts. They are an experience we are having.
At this point, you might be wondering why and how what I’m explaining relates to the story I shared at the beginning of the article.
How do we catch on to the skipping record notes and deeply change our experience?
This is refreshingly different than what most share.
Listen closely beauties.
We have an Intelligence built into us. We might not know to look for it . Once I started to look in the direction of this Universal Truth, I could see the Truth of it. This intrigued me, so I kept looking. I noticed that we have a barometer built into the system.
No matter what is happening on the outside world of our lives, we have a peaceful inner center. We always have this home base that we come back to time and time again. We might not feel this always because we innocently get in our own way when we don’t know this about ourselves.
The nature of human beings is always to be pulled back to this center.
Life looks like this:
We have a wild thought experience.
Which is normal and human by the way. Then we eventually, naturally settle back down to our inner home base.
Look at young children.
Wild thought experience. Settle. Wild thought experience. Settle.
We are designed like that too but we get really caught up in thought. We think it’s really true and informative, instead of the fact that it’s just an experience that we have and then we settle.
So, we have this center. And our center feels calm and peaceful. Like a still pond. It’s like an “ok-ness”. You probably knew this place more as a child before all the thoughts and beliefs came in which you started identifying with.
When we start traveling left of our ok center in our mind, we feel it. Strong emotions that hang around mean that we are just caught up in that thinking. You’ll start to get a feel for all of this as you learn this new way of being. A learning curve is completely normal.
The good news is that all of the “anxiety thinking” and the like that you might be having doesn’t mean life is scary. It just means, “I’m caught up in afraid, emergency thinking so my reality looks as such.”
When I’m feeling really disappointed by my boyfriend’s behavior because I’m caught up in “disappointing thinking” that’s traveling in and out of my head, it doesn’t mean my boyfriend is disappointing me and needs to change his behavior per se. It means that I’m humanly and innocently caught up in “disappointing thinking.”
Now, thinking is sly my friends.
And I feel like if more people knew about this natural barometer we all have, many a relationship would be saved and suffering would lessen.
We have a deep wisdom within that says whether a relationship is suited for us or not. It’s good to know that’s something we can get quiet and listen to. But, if there’s this quiet voice of wisdom that says to stay but you are huffing and puffing internally wanting to control the other person (like me), then maybe you are caught up in an old program of the mind.
That irritated feeling you are having is your barometer saying, “Hey child you are innocently caught up in your thinking and believing it’s reality again. I know it looks so real but that’s what thought does to humans. It gives you a very real experience. Experience is fleeting, temporary and transient by nature. It moves. You have infinite thought potential. And there is this almost magic that happens when you start to see this and look in this direction. When you wake up to the fact that you were the one caught up, the thinking has a chance to move and clear like it was designed to do. You can make room for new thought to head your way. You don’t need to put the thought there. It’s already there. Just make space. Be willing to be wrong about your boyfriend or your (fill in the blank.) Based on the way your own brain was wired, your brain just learned to go there. This is normal, impersonal and human. Your hurt ego learned to go to disappointment thinking. That’s it. It learned to go there. But it’s one perception out of infinite perceptions to be painted on your neutral outside life.”
Do you see how sneaky the mind can be? I could have easily been disappointed instead of realizing it was the intelligence of my system alerting me to the fact I was left of center in my thinking. I needed to be open to hearing, “Jamie, let this go and see whats under there. What else is there? Open to some fresh new thought around this.”
Here’s where it gets good.
At this point I envision you screaming at the television episode version of this article, “How are you starting to see your boyfriend differently Jamie? How can I see my situation or person differently too?”
Pause that tube and listen up.
As I was writing the first half of this article I was in the phase where I had the insight into the nature of my “disappointment thinking”. That it was being internally generated within me and that it was my barometer telling me I was off from my peaceful center by the large amount of it I was feeling. I was able to see it instead of being tricked by it as truth.
So at this point, I had a new awareness. I was suspicious about the validity of what I was feeling. There was space around it now for new thought to happen.
What was the rest of my day like after this insight and how did it unfold?
It was night and day from what I was feeling before.
My day was pure softness and love. I felt free. I felt like myself. I was dancing on street corners waiting for the light to change. I was picking up toys in the shops on the street we were walking down and pretending I was in the marching band. I was talkative and kind. Life was easy and good to me.
And I was in the love.
Deeply in love.
I couldn’t keep my hands off of my man. I was scratching his back at lunch. I was staring at him. I was laughing with him. I felt a softness between us. There was even a secret, romantic-grab-and-kiss as we crossed paths in the dimly lit hallway. As the night went on and we were with family talking about raising kids and the like, I was looking at him from across the room thinking how handsome he is and how he’d be a really good dad and that one day I’d want to have a family with him. And if you know me at all that thought is a miracle because raising a family doesn’t cross my mind often.
There was no disappointment in site. Just the opposite. It was simply pure gratitude for him and our life together.
I had space from my old, inner experience. Thoughts from Jamie’s Inner Essence, from Source, from my Divine Center aligned with my innate space of Well Being. Well Being is our default so my default came through. I didn’t have to try. I didn’t have to control. I didn’t have to be more positive. I didn’t have take a 10 step program on how to be silly, happy, sweet or kind. Or how to get your boyfriend to make you coffee every morning and make you happy. I let go of the junk of my mind when I saw it wasn’t real and space was created for truth.
I was happy. For no reason at all other than the fact that I was tapped into the true source of happiness. My inner well being.
Experience changes from the inside out. I’ve heard it my whole life but being able to experience it in real time is awesome.
Let me be real with you. We are human. And we have human thought experiences. While my day was grand and peaceful we had a small normal, human argument that evening because one of us was having old, inner thinking that came up that was innocently believed in, which took us momentarily away from our center. But we eventually bounced back.
I’m telling you this so that you know that our human experience is meant to be an ebb and flow and changing experience. Just because you sway away doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad. It just means, “Whoops. Look at that. That’s where my mind learned to go. I’m just going be open to seeing something new about this. Something softer.”
Then someday at some point you will. You’ll keep seeing more and more internally and get more space and more freedom and more peace which will bring more of the Real You to the table.
Because at the end of the day I was never craving his attention or even disappointed in his behavior or needing him to be a certain way so that I could feel better.
I was craving my own inner essence experienced by me projected outward. We all are. Because when I’m happy, it spreads outward and the neediness goes away.
Now instead of seeing my boyfriend as doing something “problematic” (which at first I still sometimes do), when I catch on to what my mind is doing, I’ll realize it’s my barometer. So instead of it being a problem that I feel that way. It’s a gift. The kindness of the design. “Oh wow, I’m feeling really bummed about something he’s doing. That must mean I’m caught up in my thinking again.” Because if there was a talk to be had between or something to be done, that would come from wisdom. And wisdom doesn’t have a bummed feel to it.
How can you heal a relationship from the inside out too?
Just look in the direction of what I’m talking about in this article, experiment with your barometer and know that as Ramana Maharshi so smartly put it, “You already are that which you seek.”
And watch your whole world transform from the inside out.
About the Author
Jamie Wozny is a passionate Spiritual Teacher, Reiki Master, Meditation Guide and Journalism Major who writes for all types of people who are curious about the principles of peace and happiness. She holds retreats, classes and workshops and has her own private practice as well. Jamie’s teachings consist of deep conversations about how to move beyond the identification we have with the personal mind, take it less seriously and move into our natural state of well being. Here we can spend time in our natural state of flow. She teaches you how to simplify happiness so you can access this natural state that is your birthright. Her purpose is to help you wake up to your True Nature one article at a time. Read on to align with love. She is excited about helping you find relief, feel alive and radiate joy. Get ready to awaken!