Hear me out.
I’ve been toying with something new.
I’ve been a “healer” for a long time now and that word can get pretty confusing.
I’ve spent a lot of years of my youth going to western doctors to “heal” me and then most of my young adult to adult years going to more esoteric, eastern or energy healers to “heal” me. I’m one myself.
I’m starting to see that while these things can be helpful, my mind is pretty sly. I teach meditation.
I was sitting in class last night teaching. There are many quiet moments in class when I’m not speaking and sometimes because my mind is usually quiet too, I’ll have deep insights.
Last night I heard the scariest, potentially truest thing that I’ve heard in a while.
“Jamie, you are caught up in trying to ‘fix yourself’ still. To ‘heal yourself’. That is actually made of thought energy that can pass.”
So, there is this thought that comes through your mind, from a sublet and sly place of fear that says, you need to get to the next layer, the next thing, you have to keep going “until you heal.”
And then you’ll be ok.
But what does that do to me? It puts being ok just out of reach and I’m always looking for it. And thats a never ending cycle.
I’ve studied under a school of thought that is adamant about the truth that we are ok by nature. At our core is “okness”, wellbeing. It’s like the sky and these thoughts that pass by are like the weather and when we take the weather seriously, we get a little caught up and suffer.
So I’m getting suspicious now. I’m not 100% certain as my mind has been doing this for quite some time.
But I’m curious now. This thought that I have to keep fixing or healing until I’m ok takes my power away.
What if I’m ok now? What if I’m a bright spirit with all my light fully intact, with all the ideas I need, resilience and wellbeing right now? What if you are too?
And we just got duped by the fearful “fix it, heal me” thought?
It came into my awareness hidden. I believed it so my reality was created around it.
I met others who believe life was like this and then found agreement and proof all around me so I was kind of in the Bermuda triangle sucked in...
...Until one day my mind got quiet and I heard what I can’t unhear now.
To my mind, that seems wildly scary.
“What? I could potentially let go and when I feel afraid and like I need to get to work healing, I could just let that thought pass and see whats under it? And if I feel the need to take an action, I can do it from that super calm place but otherwise I’m good?”
I hear from my teacher who has been at this longer than me that there is very little to do to be at peace than we think.
By default we are plugged in. We are good. We are at peace. And then we are innocently taken away from time to time, swept up in the illusion of thought.
I remember a teacher of mine saying to me one day, wherever you are certain you don’t need to look, look there.
Like I was certain that healer jamie needed to heal. Of course.
And the mind is funny. It said slyly, “She’d never look there, so let’s keep playing that one out.” But I believe in a good universe that has my back. So it can’t hide for long.
So, I’m going to experiment and I’m writing this today to see if you want to join me.
When you have a compulsion to keep reading, self healing, changing, chanting, rewiring, see if you can ease up. What if you didn’t need to do that in the first place? What if it was just a passing thought you took seriously?
What if we have created a whole industry based on an innocent fear of needing to heal? Now I know your brain may take this and try to distort it. Me too.
But if you at all feel a resonance with this, know I’m right here with you experimenting too. Let me know how it goes for you.
Maybe there was never anything to “heal.”
Maybe there is just a remembering who you are and letting the rest come and go and pass. Taking gentle cover when the rain comes and enjoying the sun.
“You are already that which you seek.”~Ramana Maharshi
The old, familiar tape in my head started playing again. On repeat. Loudly. Like when you can’t get that song out of your mind and you ask your friend to sing something else in the hope that that damn jingle can be laid to rest.
It’s pesky and all too familiar but doesn’t cause too much harm. Or does it? Maybe not the song. But perhaps the belief in the tape of the mind does.
I bet my tape is similar to yours. I’ll share mine. Then let’s compare notes.
“I wish he would put his arm around me more or play with my hair and touch my face like they do in all those Reece Witherspoon, Julia Roberts and Kate Hudson movies. I wish he would walk back into this room the second I wake up with my coffee just like I like it. I wish he would have already showered today so that we could have sex as the moment arises.” I wish. I wish. I wish.
If you can relate, read on.
This “I wish thinking” is just as familiar as the jingle stuck in your head. It could sneak by like no big deal. Unnoticed. Harmless. Like that extra cup of coffee you knew you shouldn’t have had.
Here’s the thing I’m so excited to share with you.
The “I wish thinking” is not actually true.
The content of our thinking that is.
And I’m still kind of amazed at the fact that I wake up to the illusion of my thinking every day. And the more I hear about others waking up to the Illusion of their thinking too on the daily, the more it helps me “see” mine.
First, here’s some really important background knowledge
about how the mind works.
We are fish in water to our thinking. Fish say, “What’s water?” and we say, “What’s thinking?”
As humans we have the creative gift of Thought. It’s how we have experience. Period.
But instead of seeing Thought as subjective experience, we innocently see it as Truth. We grow up and we think, “Wow, these things in my head are all real and true.” Then we call that our “reality”. We pick certain ones that float into our head as “right” and others as “wrong.” Then we see proof of our wrong and right “beliefs” everywhere. This creates our version of “life”.
But is this the only way? Is this truth?
I feel so lucky to have caught on to the fact that it’s not.
Is a peaceful life beyond our beliefs available to us?
The way I see, it is.
Let’s go into more detail.
We have a thought and we feel our thought as an emotion. They are one and the same. That creates our experience of life.
Life is constantly coming to us from the inside out. Not the outside in.
Thought is infinite, creative potential. In any moment we have the ability to have an infinite amount of possible thoughts float through our heads. And they do! But if we have certain beliefs and also think that the outside world is making us feel a certain way (i.e. “My boyfriend’s behavior is disappointing me.”) then we can be innocently and temporarily “stuck” in our current thought reality.
But you can “unstick” at any time.
The key to freedom is not in trying to change other people, circumstances or outside life things. It’s in always looking within our own Mind for fresh, new thought about the outside thing you feel “stuck” about.
I envision this like a record that is spinning and playing a beautiful melody and the needle happens to get stuck momentarily and this weird sound comes out and repeats itself. Until someone comes along and lifts up the needle and puts it back down and the song continues to play.
There’s still a beautiful song wanting to be played. And we get “stuck” on a note and think that’s all there is for us. That one awkward note.
There’s. A. Whole. Song.
A whole album. A whole bunch of albums. A whole music industry. Musicians and instruments and singers and producers and well you get the idea!
And we think we’re the stuck note.
Until one day we wake up and realize that even though we may be fish in water, we’re not the water.
Even though we are thinking humans, we’re not our thoughts. They are an experience we are having.
At this point, you might be wondering why and how what I’m explaining relates to the story I shared at the beginning of the article.
How do we catch on to the skipping record notes and deeply change our experience?
This is refreshingly different than what most share.
Listen closely beauties.
We have an Intelligence built into us. We might not know to look for it . Once I started to look in the direction of this Universal Truth, I could see the Truth of it. This intrigued me, so I kept looking. I noticed that we have a barometer built into the system.
No matter what is happening on the outside world of our lives, we have a peaceful inner center. We always have this home base that we come back to time and time again. We might not feel this always because we innocently get in our own way when we don’t know this about ourselves.
The nature of human beings is always to be pulled back to this center.
Life looks like this:
We have a wild thought experience.
Which is normal and human by the way. Then we eventually, naturally settle back down to our inner home base.
Look at young children.
Wild thought experience. Settle. Wild thought experience. Settle.
We are designed like that too but we get really caught up in thought. We think it’s really true and informative, instead of the fact that it’s just an experience that we have and then we settle.
So, we have this center. And our center feels calm and peaceful. Like a still pond. It’s like an “ok-ness”. You probably knew this place more as a child before all the thoughts and beliefs came in which you started identifying with.
When we start traveling left of our ok center in our mind, we feel it. Strong emotions that hang around mean that we are just caught up in that thinking. You’ll start to get a feel for all of this as you learn this new way of being. A learning curve is completely normal.
The good news is that all of the “anxiety thinking” and the like that you might be having doesn’t mean life is scary. It just means, “I’m caught up in afraid, emergency thinking so my reality looks as such.”
When I’m feeling really disappointed by my boyfriend’s behavior because I’m caught up in “disappointing thinking” that’s traveling in and out of my head, it doesn’t mean my boyfriend is disappointing me and needs to change his behavior per se. It means that I’m humanly and innocently caught up in “disappointing thinking.”
Now, thinking is sly my friends.
And I feel like if more people knew about this natural barometer we all have, many a relationship would be saved and suffering would lessen.
We have a deep wisdom within that says whether a relationship is suited for us or not. It’s good to know that’s something we can get quiet and listen to. But, if there’s this quiet voice of wisdom that says to stay but you are huffing and puffing internally wanting to control the other person (like me), then maybe you are caught up in an old program of the mind.
That irritated feeling you are having is your barometer saying, “Hey child you are innocently caught up in your thinking and believing it’s reality again. I know it looks so real but that’s what thought does to humans. It gives you a very real experience. Experience is fleeting, temporary and transient by nature. It moves. You have infinite thought potential. And there is this almost magic that happens when you start to see this and look in this direction. When you wake up to the fact that you were the one caught up, the thinking has a chance to move and clear like it was designed to do. You can make room for new thought to head your way. You don’t need to put the thought there. It’s already there. Just make space. Be willing to be wrong about your boyfriend or your (fill in the blank.) Based on the way your own brain was wired, your brain just learned to go there. This is normal, impersonal and human. Your hurt ego learned to go to disappointment thinking. That’s it. It learned to go there. But it’s one perception out of infinite perceptions to be painted on your neutral outside life.”
Do you see how sneaky the mind can be? I could have easily been disappointed instead of realizing it was the intelligence of my system alerting me to the fact I was left of center in my thinking. I needed to be open to hearing, “Jamie, let this go and see whats under there. What else is there? Open to some fresh new thought around this.”
Here’s where it gets good.
At this point I envision you screaming at the television episode version of this article, “How are you starting to see your boyfriend differently Jamie? How can I see my situation or person differently too?”
Pause that tube and listen up.
As I was writing the first half of this article I was in the phase where I had the insight into the nature of my “disappointment thinking”. That it was being internally generated within me and that it was my barometer telling me I was off from my peaceful center by the large amount of it I was feeling. I was able to see it instead of being tricked by it as truth.
So at this point, I had a new awareness. I was suspicious about the validity of what I was feeling. There was space around it now for new thought to happen.
What was the rest of my day like after this insight and how did it unfold?
It was night and day from what I was feeling before.
My day was pure softness and love. I felt free. I felt like myself. I was dancing on street corners waiting for the light to change. I was picking up toys in the shops on the street we were walking down and pretending I was in the marching band. I was talkative and kind. Life was easy and good to me.
And I was in the love.
Deeply in love.
I couldn’t keep my hands off of my man. I was scratching his back at lunch. I was staring at him. I was laughing with him. I felt a softness between us. There was even a secret, romantic-grab-and-kiss as we crossed paths in the dimly lit hallway. As the night went on and we were with family talking about raising kids and the like, I was looking at him from across the room thinking how handsome he is and how he’d be a really good dad and that one day I’d want to have a family with him. And if you know me at all that thought is a miracle because raising a family doesn’t cross my mind often.
There was no disappointment in site. Just the opposite. It was simply pure gratitude for him and our life together.
I had space from my old, inner experience. Thoughts from Jamie’s Inner Essence, from Source, from my Divine Center aligned with my innate space of Well Being. Well Being is our default so my default came through. I didn’t have to try. I didn’t have to control. I didn’t have to be more positive. I didn’t have take a 10 step program on how to be silly, happy, sweet or kind. Or how to get your boyfriend to make you coffee every morning and make you happy. I let go of the junk of my mind when I saw it wasn’t real and space was created for truth.
I was happy. For no reason at all other than the fact that I was tapped into the true source of happiness. My inner well being.
Experience changes from the inside out. I’ve heard it my whole life but being able to experience it in real time is awesome.
Let me be real with you. We are human. And we have human thought experiences. While my day was grand and peaceful we had a small normal, human argument that evening because one of us was having old, inner thinking that came up that was innocently believed in, which took us momentarily away from our center. But we eventually bounced back.
I’m telling you this so that you know that our human experience is meant to be an ebb and flow and changing experience. Just because you sway away doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad. It just means, “Whoops. Look at that. That’s where my mind learned to go. I’m just going be open to seeing something new about this. Something softer.”
Then someday at some point you will. You’ll keep seeing more and more internally and get more space and more freedom and more peace which will bring more of the Real You to the table.
Because at the end of the day I was never craving his attention or even disappointed in his behavior or needing him to be a certain way so that I could feel better.
I was craving my own inner essence experienced by me projected outward. We all are. Because when I’m happy, it spreads outward and the neediness goes away.
Now instead of seeing my boyfriend as doing something “problematic” (which at first I still sometimes do), when I catch on to what my mind is doing, I’ll realize it’s my barometer. So instead of it being a problem that I feel that way. It’s a gift. The kindness of the design. “Oh wow, I’m feeling really bummed about something he’s doing. That must mean I’m caught up in my thinking again.” Because if there was a talk to be had between or something to be done, that would come from wisdom. And wisdom doesn’t have a bummed feel to it.
How can you heal a relationship from the inside out too?
Just look in the direction of what I’m talking about in this article, experiment with your barometer and know that as Ramana Maharshi so smartly put it, “You already are that which you seek.”
And watch your whole world transform from the inside out.
“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” -Rumi
There is a secret society. There is a secret door. In a secret room. With a secret key. Everyone has access but only some enter through the secret passage way.
You are one of the lucky ones that stumbled upon this sacred text because reading this magical scroll is the first key to the entry way.
I happen to be one of the lucky ones who has access to the teachings of the secret society. And if you listen very carefully beyond the words I’m writing and let go of any preconceived ideas of what I’m about to tell you, then you can have access too.
How did I get so lucky to have access? Well, the secret society fairy came to me and the others in charge, once up a time and dubbed us teachers of this enchanted place. They said to us with such delight, “Figure out how to enter here by listening to the wise teachers of this precious society and then gather the troops and lead them here too so they can enjoy the riches.”
So there we went.
We packed our bags and headed on our journeys through the corn mazes, through the magical mirrors, through the draw bridges, the gardens, the forests, the elevators in the sky and even through the trap doors with sand timers.
And then one day we found it.
We found the key to the door, in the room, to the space where the whole secret society and all its members meet. And it was…
I bet you’re curious what the secret society is like? Well, its different than most. Because first of all it’s not all that secret. It’s available to every living thing being on the planet, but not everyone meets there often.
They can though.
And every good feeling in the Universe lives there. Feelings like unconditional love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, peace, wholeness, safety, warmth and serenity.
Would you like me to lead you down the corridor to the secret room?
You got it.
I thought you’d never ask.
Lean in and listen closely. I’m going to give you the secret code.
Access granted. Read here:
You already have all of these lovely feelings inside of you.
And the secret society monsters like you to forget that. They set these trap doors in the forests you walk through so that you think that all of these cozy, warm feelings live outside of you in things in the outside world. So, you go your whole life trying to get back “home” to that lovely feeling by altering your outside world to find what has been inside all along. You never needed to alter a thing to enter this society.
All you had to do was remember who you truly are and be open to your life being a life that happens from the inside out. You feel your own feelings of love and then you look out through your eyes and think it was caused out there in the world. In people, in money, in food and the like.
But today, you’ve stumbled upon a secret society teacher who is here to correct that innocent misunderstanding once and for all so that you can enjoy the riches the society fairies speak off that have been passed down by the great sages.
Everything you’ve ever wanted lives inside of you, not outside. You are that which you seek.
When you feel anything less than that nice feeling inside, no matter what’s occurring outside in your “life”, well then you’ve innocently been caught up in an illusion that your life is happening to you and not through you.
You might innocently think that thoughts don’t move through you and that they are real, stable “things”.
But they aren’t.
They move. They are just ideas, opinions, a way to see the world. And they are passing through your screen of life, giving you an experience of life. That’s it. There is nothing permanent or solid about them. That secret society is the permanent part. That part we all have.
Knowing this allows us to let go of the way thoughts and feelings are showing up for us moment to moment. (By the way, we feel our own thinking. So thoughts and feelings are one in the same.) Knowing all of this, we can take thoughts less seriously. Guess what else? They eventually settle. And what’s there when they settle?
The key. To the door. To the room.
We happen upon this secret society inside of us thats been with us all along. Our default state. The constant back drop that is us with some other human stuff that passes by from time to time.
So how will you recognize me and the other teachers and members when we meet? You’ll feel it. You’ll see a gleam in our eyes. Time will stop. And you’ll know that you are Ok.
The great news is that you can meet anyone here at any time. You can even begin to remind others of the secret key and the secret door and the secret room, simply by being a member and being in the default state of love yourself.
They’ll feel it.
See the gleam and know.
And then you’ll have to whip out your secret scroll and tell them the secret password phase.
Access granted. Read here:
My friend, you are already home.
How seeing the truth about an innocent misunderstanding of the mind can shift your entire experience of life.
It was one of those days. All was going smoothly one minute, the next I’m sitting on my couch with tears rolling down my face. The cute, blue hat I’m wearing can’t even fix this mess.
I’ve learned better though these days. I didn’t need a reason to be feeling sad. To me, emotions are just emotions. They are energy moving through us, period. The human mind likes to say, “I’m feeling sad because….” and then search the surrounding environment for an answer. But we make up our best guess as to “why” we feel a certain way. In truth, we are simply experiencing what we are experiencing moment to moment. And if we let go of the “because” then our thought experience can flow through uninhibited and free like the flowing river of energy that we are.
So in this moment, I had a sense to allow myself to enter a quiet, eighty degree, hot summer room, take the cute, blue hat off and allow this energy to flow. As I sat quietly in reflection, without needing to search for why I was feeling this way, an insight occurred to me.
I realized that my mind had made a mistake. A mistake many of our minds make. I realized I was under the spell of an innocent misunderstanding.
Images of my childhood flashed before my eyes. I saw all the places where I thought safety lived. I thought it lived in things like my childhood home, my mom, being sick and getting attention and having just enough money.
But then in a flash I saw the truth.
Safety can’t live in those things. Safety is a state of being. Safety can’t live in anything in the outside world. Because we live in an inside out world. We experience our reality via thought occurring within us moment to moment and we look out into the world and think it comes from there. We innocently think that something out there happens and it causes a feeling within. But we are always feeling our own thinking and experiencing that as “reality” moment to moment.
My childhood brain thought, “Mom makes me feel safe. My home makes me feel safe. Having just-enough-money-and-no-more makes me feel safe.”
But here’s the kicker to show you that those are just subjective thoughts and not “truths.” I guarantee there were times my mom didn’t make me feel safe, or my home didn’t make me feel safe or having just enough money didn’t make me feel safe. So it was never the money, the home or my mom making me feel a certain way. It was me always experiencing my ever changing thoughts about my outside world and picking certain ones that were familiar to me and then labeling them as truth, which in turn became a habit in my brain.
And I didn’t know to question it back then. But I know better now. And I’m sharing this with you so that you, in your eighty degree summer day apartment with your cute, blue hat can find relief from the biggest misunderstanding on the planet.
What was really occurring all along when I was young, was that every time I had a nice feeling, I was experiencing my own inner state of being. That nice, safe, warm, cozy feeling was me feeling my inner world. It was me in my natural state and because no one taught me these principles of life at a young age, I innocently thought that warmth was being caused by my outside world so I innocently gave my power away and continued to do so until my crying episode on the couch.
Love, safety, compassion, forgiveness and the like are states of being. They aren’t contingent upon the outside world being a certain way. They are accessed when our mind settles. And our mind settles by nature. On its own without our input. Like a cut heals. On it’s own. Sometimes our wisdom tells us to help it along, but more often than not, the intelligence of the system does the job just fine on it’s own.
Because I thought safety lived in these things, my mind would try to control my world to stay safe. This meant; leaving mom, not safe. Being away from home, not safe. Having a lot of money. Not safe. And the list goes on. But the only reason I’d think those things weren’t safe would be because I’d have a lot of thinking about them. Then I’d feel my thinking about them. And then I’d think those things were causing my feelings. And I’d be innocently swayed by the illusion that these things were making me unsafe.
Just remember, your safety doesn’t live out there. It lives in here. It’s a state of being. So you can let life be as life is knowing that you simply experience a whole lot of ebbing and flowing thought through the vessel that is You. It comes and it goes. It eventually settles and passes. And so you are free to let your life open up, free to try things your wisdom suggests and free to finally live your life with uninhibited, wild abandon.
About the Author
Jamie Wozny is a passionate Spiritual Teacher, Reiki Master, Meditation Guide and Journalism Major who writes for all types of people who are curious about the principles of peace and happiness. She holds retreats, classes and workshops and has her own private practice as well. Jamie’s teachings consist of deep conversations about how to move beyond the identification we have with the personal mind, take it less seriously and move into our natural state of well being. Here we can spend time in our natural state of flow. She teaches you how to simplify happiness so you can access this natural state that is your birthright. Her purpose is to help you wake up to your True Nature one article at a time. Read on to align with love. She is excited about helping you find relief, feel alive and radiate joy. Get ready to awaken!